The Importance of Powerful Questions

Knowledge is having the right answer. Intelligence is asking the right question.

Recently, I was working with a client who was frustrated after spending time with family during the holidays. She asked me “Why don’t I set boundaries with my family? Why don’t I stand up to them when they treat me poorly?” My answer was the why is not what’s important here… and perhaps the wrong questions were asked. You see, my client is not the only one who gets caught in the web of asking the kind of questions that keep us stuck, feeling defensive, and caught in the barriers erected by examining what’s wrong…Most people often do.

Questions have the power to change lives. Truly! They can ignite creativity, change our perspective, empower us to believe in ourselves, push us to think things through, and call us to take action. As many other helping professionals, I’m trained in asking those kinds of thought-provoking questions. To help you become more aware and effective in communication, here’s a nugget for you…The solution is to drop why questions, and replace it with how questions.

Here’s the importance of asking how questions:

• open us up to inquiry & observation

• invite a curious attitude

• opens a willingness to investigate, not judge & evaluate

How helps us have a fresh outlook, to cultivate an open mindset and seek information. Instead of asking “why don’t I set boundaries with my family” I invited my client to ask “how will I set boundaries” to seek solutions rather than staying stuck in the problem. I invite you to ask “how can this work better?” instead of “why is this not working?” next time you feel stuck, defensive or you need a new perspective on a situation. Let me know how it goes!

To Powerful, positive change…Cheers!

Adela