How to Co-Exist in Isolation
Recently, a client asked me how to cope better with her family at home during the quarantine.
Brilliant question! Because yes, there’s a whole new dynamic to consider, one that has brought added stress and uncertainty for many living within confined quarters. For those who live alone, there may be another set of problems that creep up, such as loneliness and isolation.
What we don’t know yet is the impact the pandemic will have on mental health, domestic abuse and addiction. It’s safe to predict it’s going to increase significantly in all area, as our lives have been disrupted and many simply don’t have the coping skills.
Our daily routines, work lives and even grocery shopping have been turned up side down. We’re not used to spending 24/7 at home with our families. Add home schooling, job insecurity and social distancing to the equation and it’s no wonder stress and anxiety levels are exponentially high.
And, yes. I will acknowledge the beautiful gift we’ve been given with our extra time: going within, staying home, bonding with our loved ones, building puzzles, cleaning out closets, learning a new skill etc. The flip side of the coin is there too. There’s always another side and perspective.
However, right now I’m considering the question my client asked as well as the implication of a whole new dynamic to navigate. I want to be realistic about this, because people are struggling. I talk to clients every day and they tell me how emotions are elevated, moods are swinging and tempers are flaring.
Below are a few practical techniques to consider. And, please reach out for support, a shoulder to cry on or someone to laugh with. Emotional, mental, physical and spiritual well-being is so important right now.
Understand that everyone is having a unique experience & perspective. That’s the very first thing to become aware of. Not everyone in your circle will feel the same way you do, nor have the same coping skills. Think outside of “right and wrong” and give each other extra space with more compassion, grace and understanding.
Create a daily routine & structure. As humans, we are creatures of habits. Daily routines helps us feel anchored and grounded. A daily ritual can add to your overall experience. Also, have designated areas for work, home and self care to differentiate your spaces. Time for connection, touch and intimacy is important as well.
Set new boundaries and dissolve old ones for the time being. Perhaps you decide no social media /news before lunch, or you let your child sleep with you, which is usually a non-negotiable. Be flexible, creative and give temporary time frames. And PAUSE…often.
Let go of the way you want things to be. We all have our preferences, which is OK. It’s when we cling to those preferences, or we decide we can’t be satisfied unless we have it our way, or when we start comparing… we’ll experience friction and suffering. Instead, look for ways to bond with partner and kids.
Communicate with clarity & intention. Ask: What’s my intention and desired outcome? Say what you mean, and mean what you say, instead of being passive aggressive and critical. If you have a conflict, stay in the present and on point. Avoid bringing in old issues to current disagreements. Read my blog post about communication tips here.
Have daily play time. Please be sure to add something fun to your day. Laughing, dancing, signing, moving, and creating together will help you bond with your family… and improve your immune system at the same time.
Designate time for self care and personal space. Equally important is alone time for you to relax, meditate, journal, nap or watching movies. This time is yours to recharge your energetic batteries or to do absolutely nothing.
Remember to be gentle with your self and everyone in your circle. And breathe, my friend. Breathe! The above suggestions is a beginning….And find your own things that work. Talk to your partner and family.
I’d love to hear from you how you are coping, dealing and healing. Be safe & stay well.
To Powerful, Positive Change…Cheers.
Adela