How to Practice Deeper Listening Skills
Are you listening…? A basic need we have is to be heard.
The biggest part of my work is to listen. Most of the information my clients share come from what is not said and what their body naturally communicate with nonverbal cues. My ‘super-power’ is to hear those powerful nuggets of insights and help facilitate powerful, positive change.
Deep listening is the process of listening to learn. It requires a temporary suspension of judgment, and a willingness to receive information – whether pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral.
In mindfulness, deep listening is a way of hearing in which we are fully present with what is happening in the moment without trying to control it or judge it.
As I’m practicing deep listening of the collective, it seems “pandemic, social injustice and politics” have become the main topics of our daily conversations. Served with a side dish of tension, rage and fear. And instead of coming together as a united nation…people appear more divided and have stopped listening to each other.
What I hear is we no longer seem to listen with an intention to hear, but to rebut; no longer to understand, but to criticize… My invitation is to become aware of your own listening style and practice deeper listening. How, you may ask?
Below you’ll find a few suggestions that I’ve adopted from an article in Psychology Today mixed with NLP:
Be present to the person. Avoid distractions such as phones, TV and other competing attention hi-jackers.
Listen for meaning.
Pay attention to body language. The body naturally communicates non-verbal cues; pay attention.
Pay attention to the feelings associated with the words.
Maintain eye contact as much as comfortable.
Avoid making judgments.
Acknowledge you’re listening with nonverbal cues.
Listen with empathy.
Avoid assumptions & opinions.
Listen with your entire body and engage your senses.
There are numerous benefits of listening deeply to others – it encourages deep learning, builds rapport and creates intimacy. As the Dalai Lama so wisely states, “When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.”
Deep listening doesn’t only mean listening to others, but also listening to your self. Practicing personal reflection can facilitate personal & professional growth, and a higher level of personal responsibility. I’ll discuss in future post.
Keep listening, friends.
To Powerful, Positive Change…Cheers.
Adela