How to Manage Emotional Triggers
What are emotional triggers?
You know, those super reactive places inside you that become activated by a situation, an experience, someone else’s behaviors or comments…Especially now, during this already emotionally charged, uncertain and unstable time.
When feeling triggered, you may either withdraw emotionally and simply feel hurt, angry or react in an aggressive way. Your reaction is intense because you’re defending against a painful feeling, belief or perspective that has surfaced.
For every possible event or experience, you have your own beliefs, feelings and perspective. The beliefs you hold will influence your behaviors. Some triggers have positive impact, however, some of our worst behaviors comes from being triggered. It can be exhausting and painful, even detrimental to relationships.
To heal emotional triggers, we must begin to examine and shift the beliefs we’ve carried around from family, cultures and society. Here’s a few ways to begin to manage our triggers:
Become aware. Begin to notice and identify your emotional triggers which cause you to be most upset or thrown off balance. For instance, when someone criticizes your work or opinion. Or perhaps you feel unlovable and undeserving of a healthy relationship. Observe yourself and what happens within you in a triggered state.
Notice the root of the trigger. Where does the trigger originate? For example, did you hear your parents say that you were too emotional, too sensitive? Did a coach tell you that you didn’t have what it takes to succeed in sports? Knowing where your triggers come from allows you to know yourself better.
Reprogram negative beliefs. Start looking at triggers with a new set of eyes. Perhaps pick one that has the least emotional charge and begin to re-frame it. Substitute negative beliefs with positive, more realistic ones. Ask yourself: is this belief based in facts or is it a story I’m telling myself?
Accept that we all have triggers. It’s only human to experience emotional triggers, and behave in less desirable ways at times as a result. Being fallible doesn’t make you a bad person. Triggers can be seen as opportunities to grow and develop oneself into a better person. Aim for progress, not perfection and in small, intentional steps.
Work with a therapist or coach. Seek guidance to help you find the root of the trigger and tools to process the feelings involved. You may feel tremendous rage or sadness that you need help to overcome. Expressing and releasing feelings allows you to heal the trigger and move on to embrace your true essence and power.
Healing your triggers is liberating because you’ll be less thrown off by situations, events and people. Actually, the more you heal your emotional triggers, the more healthy and happy you’ll be…plus, taking responsibility for yourself and your emotions gives you two things: choice and freedom. When you stop blaming outside sources for your internal state, that’s the clue you’re on the road to wholeness and self mastery.
To Powerful, Positive Change…Cheers!